You are allowed to want what you want.
You Are Not Too Much
You have been told, in a thousand ways, that you want too much. That your desire is excessive. That your needs are a burden. That the appropriate response to wanting is to want less.
This is not true. You are not too much. You have simply been in rooms that were too small. The Sleazeeasy is a larger room. You are allowed to take up space here.
Shame Is Borrowed
Every piece of shame you carry was handed to you by someone else. A parent. A religion. A culture. A partner. A moment of cruelty dressed up as concern. None of it was yours to begin with.
You can return it. You don't have to keep carrying it. The Sleazeeasy has a lost-and-found at the door. Leave it there.
The Body Remembers What the Mind Forgets
Healing is not linear. It does not proceed in a straight line from broken to whole. It spirals. It doubles back. It visits the same places again and again, each time with slightly more light.
You are not failing because you are still working on this. You are doing exactly what healing requires: showing up, again and again, to the same tender places, with increasing honesty.
"Your pleasure is not a problem to be managed."
"Desire is not a character flaw. It is a feature."
"You deserve to be in rooms where you don't have to pretend."
"There is nothing wrong with you that honesty won't help."